1. HISTORY OF THE FEDERAL ROLE IN MARRIAGE STRENGTHENING PROGRAMS

• In 1996, Congress passed and President Clinton signed the Welfare Reform Act of 1996 which, among other things, gave states the opportunity to use TANF funding to strengthen marriage and encouraged States to use the funding to increase the number of children raised in two-parent homes.
• Between 1996 and 2000, only one state, Oklahoma, launched a major marriage education initiative which has continued to this day. No Federal government action was taken.
• In 2001, the Administration, realizing that States were not using TANF funding to strengthen relationships, fatherhood, or marriage, added an amendment to the proposed TANF Reauthorization legislation which specifically earmarked $150 million for marriage strengthening programs.
• The TANF Reauthorization was not enacted into law until 2006 and included the $150 million; $100 million for marriage education programs and $50 million for Fatherhood programs.
• This $150 million did not include one penny of new funding.  Rather, it took $150 million from the 1996 Welfare Reform Act “Out of Wedlock Birth Bonuses” to the states. These bonuses were a complete failure.  States did nothing deliberately to earn these bonuses.  Each year, three to six states would receive a check for $25 million or more because their out-of-wedlock birth rates accidently went down, or went up slower than the other states.  Not one penny of this money was then used to strengthen relationships, marriage, or fatherhood.  No state won bonus money as a result of any specific policy enacted to reduce out of wedlock births.
• Not a single state complained or lobbied Congress to save these bonuses.
• The 2006 TANF Reauthorization Act earmarked $100 million for marriage strengthening grants to private, non-profit, community and faith-based organizations, state government, universities, and Tribes under eight different categories including:

The Internet can pose a significant threat to any relationship if misused. The Internet has led to a dramatic increase in use of pornography, which can become habitual, even addictive behavior that will have a negative impact on your own relationship with your partner. In addition, the Internet allows individuals to make contact with strangers and encourages inappropriate intimacy. It can lead to both emotional and physical infidelity. Because some people view online relationships as harmless, they engage in behavior they would never consider in a face-to-face relationship. Many marriages and relationships have broken up when one member of a couple discovers that his/her partner has been involved in a relationship online or regularly visits pornographic or other inappropriate websites.

Here are a set of rules that will help each couple avoid the trauma that comes from discovering hidden relationships and porn use on the computer.